A Life Less Ordinary: Autism, DBA Life, and a Journey Across the World

 

Welcome to AutismDBA—a blog about fatherhood, life as a DBA, and a journey that’s taken me across continents, cultures, and experiences I never imagined I’d live through.

This blog is my way of sharing what it’s like to raise a son with autism, provide for a family on a single income, and move from living comfortably to embracing a frugal, purpose-driven life. It’s about the joys and challenges of parenting, the ups and downs of career and relocation, and the incredible resilience it takes to navigate a life far from ordinary.





🌍 From the UK to the World

My journey began in the UK, but life soon took me—and my growing family—on a whirlwind adventure across the globe. We lived in Dubai, moved around the Middle East, spent a year in New Zealand, and travelled to countries like the USA, the Cook Islands, Fiji, and across South America—from the Galápagos Islands to Argentina, the Falklands, and beyond.


Europe welcomed us next, with time in Bulgaria and Prague, before a life-changing chapter in Japan—where both of my children were born. From there, we moved to Hong Kong, then Singapore, and eventually back to the UK, where we now live. It’s been a rollercoaster ride of cultures, languages, learning, and love.

👨‍👦 Parenting and Autism: The Real Journey

Our life has always revolved around our eldest son, Kai, who has autism. My wife has been a full-time mum for most of our 18-year marriage, dedicating herself to caring for him while I’ve been the sole earner. Raising a child with autism brings unique challenges, but also incredible rewards.

In Singapore, I took him to football and therapy sessions. He participated in Active Autism programs and even joined Arsenal Football Club’s therapy initiatives. His love for IT is growing every day, so I’ve started teaching him real-world skills to help him prepare for college and, hopefully, a career in tech.

👨‍👦‍👦 Brothers, Bonds, and Balance

I want to take a moment to celebrate our younger son too. He’s been an incredible brother to Kai—caring, patient, and supportive beyond his years. We’re currently helping him revise for his GCSEs, and I couldn’t be prouder.

As a parent, I’ve often struggled with the feeling that I’ve had to focus more on one child than the other—not out of favoritism, but necessity. Kai has needed more support, more time, and more attention. But my love for both of them is equal and endless.

💻 DBA Life and Living Frugally

Alongside my personal journey, I’ve built a career as a Database Administrator (DBA). It’s been a constant throughout our global adventures, allowing me to support our family through all the relocations and challenges.

In recent years, we’ve shifted from living well to living frugally. Not by choice at first, but eventually by design. We’ve learned to budget, make sacrifices, and still find joy in the small things. Being the sole earner hasn’t been easy, but it’s taught me resilience, gratitude, and what truly matters.

Why I’m Writing This

I’ve lived a life that few would consider “normal.” But through all the travel, parenting challenges, and career ups and downs, one thing has remained constant—my family.

This blog is for parents raising children with autism. It’s for DBAs balancing work and life. It’s for anyone who has felt overwhelmed, alone, or unsure—and kept going anyway.

I want to share our experiences: the good, the bad, the funny, and the heartbreaking. I hope that by telling our story, others might find comfort, community, or even just a moment of recognition.

Thank you for reading. This is just the beginning.

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