SQL Art, Part 2: New Year Fireworks in SSMS (Yes, Really)

 Last time we turned SQL Server into a Christmas card.

This time we’re doing something even less sensible: fireworks.

Not charts. Not dashboards. Not “data visualization”.
Actual fireworks, built from SQL Server geometry shapes and rendered in SSMS.

What you’ll get

  • Random firework bursts in the sky

  • Rings, cores, rays, and trails

  • “HAPPY NEW YEAR” stamped in spark pixels

  • One simple way to remix it without understanding all the math

If you want a reminder that SQL is just a programming language with a storage habit, this is it.

Run it

Paste this into SSMS, execute, then view the results in the spatial viewer.

USE tempdb;
GO

DROP TABLE IF EXISTS #scene;
DROP TABLE IF EXISTS #centers;

CREATE TABLE #scene (shape geometry);
CREATE TABLE #centers
(
    id int identity(1,1) primary key,
    x  float not null,
    y  float not null,
    r  float not null
);

DECLARE @Fireworks int = 6;     -- bursts
DECLARE @Rays      int = 12;    -- rays per burst

-- Optional ground
INSERT INTO #scene(shape)
VALUES (geometry::STGeomFromText('LINESTRING(-2 0, 14 0)', 0).STBuffer(0.03));

-- Burst centers (materialized so we can reuse them)
INSERT INTO #centers(x,y,r)
SELECT TOP (@Fireworks)
    (ABS(CHECKSUM(NEWID())) / 2147483647.0) * 12.0 + 0.0,  -- x in [0,12]
    (ABS(CHECKSUM(NEWID())) / 2147483647.0) * 5.0  + 6.5,  -- y in [6.5,11.5]
    (ABS(CHECKSUM(NEWID())) / 2147483647.0) * 0.9  + 0.8   -- r in [0.8,1.7]
FROM sys.all_objects;

-- Core + ring
INSERT INTO #scene(shape)
SELECT geometry::Point(x, y, 0).STBuffer(r * 0.12)
FROM #centers;

INSERT INTO #scene(shape)
SELECT geometry::Point(x, y, 0).STBuffer(r)
       .STDifference(geometry::Point(x, y, 0).STBuffer(r * 0.92))
FROM #centers;

-- Rays
;WITH Angles AS
(
    SELECT TOP (@Rays)
           ROW_NUMBER() OVER (ORDER BY (SELECT NULL)) - 1 AS k
    FROM sys.all_objects
)
INSERT INTO #scene(shape)
SELECT
    geometry::STGeomFromText(
        CONCAT(
            'LINESTRING(',
            CAST(c.x AS varchar(32)), ' ', CAST(c.y AS varchar(32)), ',',
            CAST(c.x + COS((a.k * (2.0*PI() / @Rays))) * (c.r * 1.3) AS varchar(32)), ' ',
            CAST(c.y + SIN((a.k * (2.0*PI() / @Rays))) * (c.r * 1.3) AS varchar(32)),
            ')'
        ), 0
    ).STBuffer(0.04)
FROM #centers c
CROSS JOIN Angles a;

-- Trails
INSERT INTO #scene(shape)
SELECT
    geometry::STGeomFromText(
        CONCAT(
            'LINESTRING(',
            CAST(x AS varchar(32)), ' 0,',
            CAST(x AS varchar(32)), ' ', CAST(y - (r * 0.4) AS varchar(32)),
            ')'
        ), 0
    ).STBuffer(0.02)
FROM #centers;

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-- Text: HAPPY NEW YEAR (rendered as spark pixels)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DECLARE @Scale  decimal(10,4) = 0.22;         -- pixel size
DECLARE @Dot    decimal(10,4) = @Scale * 0.30;-- spark radius
DECLARE @Gap    decimal(10,4) = @Scale;
DECLARE @Step   decimal(10,4) = (5 * @Scale) + @Gap;

DECLARE @Line1 nvarchar(50) = N'HAPPY';
DECLARE @Line2 nvarchar(50) = N'NEW YEAR';

-- Position the text (tweak these to move it)
DECLARE @X1 decimal(10,4) = 1.0,  @Y1 decimal(10,4) = 4.7;
DECLARE @X2 decimal(10,4) = 0.3,  @Y2 decimal(10,4) = 3.3;

DECLARE @Font TABLE (ch nchar(1), r tinyint, c tinyint);

-- 5x7 pixels, r=0 top..6 bottom, c=0 left..4 right

-- H
INSERT @Font VALUES
(N'H',0,0),(N'H',0,4),(N'H',1,0),(N'H',1,4),(N'H',2,0),(N'H',2,4),
(N'H',3,0),(N'H',3,1),(N'H',3,2),(N'H',3,3),(N'H',3,4),
(N'H',4,0),(N'H',4,4),(N'H',5,0),(N'H',5,4),(N'H',6,0),(N'H',6,4);

-- A
INSERT @Font VALUES
(N'A',0,1),(N'A',0,2),(N'A',0,3),
(N'A',1,0),(N'A',1,4),
(N'A',2,0),(N'A',2,4),
(N'A',3,0),(N'A',3,1),(N'A',3,2),(N'A',3,3),(N'A',3,4),
(N'A',4,0),(N'A',4,4),
(N'A',5,0),(N'A',5,4),
(N'A',6,0),(N'A',6,4);

-- P
INSERT @Font VALUES
(N'P',0,0),(N'P',0,1),(N'P',0,2),(N'P',0,3),
(N'P',1,0),(N'P',1,4),
(N'P',2,0),(N'P',2,4),
(N'P',3,0),(N'P',3,1),(N'P',3,2),(N'P',3,3),
(N'P',4,0),
(N'P',5,0),
(N'P',6,0);

-- Y
INSERT @Font VALUES
(N'Y',0,0),(N'Y',0,4),
(N'Y',1,0),(N'Y',1,4),
(N'Y',2,1),(N'Y',2,3),
(N'Y',3,2),
(N'Y',4,2),
(N'Y',5,2),
(N'Y',6,2);

-- N
INSERT @Font VALUES
(N'N',0,0),(N'N',0,4),
(N'N',1,0),(N'N',1,1),(N'N',1,4),
(N'N',2,0),(N'N',2,2),(N'N',2,4),
(N'N',3,0),(N'N',3,3),(N'N',3,4),
(N'N',4,0),(N'N',4,4),
(N'N',5,0),(N'N',5,4),
(N'N',6,0),(N'N',6,4);

-- E
INSERT @Font VALUES
(N'E',0,0),(N'E',0,1),(N'E',0,2),(N'E',0,3),(N'E',0,4),
(N'E',1,0),
(N'E',2,0),
(N'E',3,0),(N'E',3,1),(N'E',3,2),(N'E',3,3),
(N'E',4,0),
(N'E',5,0),
(N'E',6,0),(N'E',6,1),(N'E',6,2),(N'E',6,3),(N'E',6,4);

-- W
INSERT @Font VALUES
(N'W',0,0),(N'W',0,4),
(N'W',1,0),(N'W',1,4),
(N'W',2,0),(N'W',2,4),
(N'W',3,0),(N'W',3,2),(N'W',3,4),
(N'W',4,0),(N'W',4,2),(N'W',4,4),
(N'W',5,0),(N'W',5,2),(N'W',5,4),
(N'W',6,1),(N'W',6,3);

-- R
INSERT @Font VALUES
(N'R',0,0),(N'R',0,1),(N'R',0,2),(N'R',0,3),
(N'R',1,0),(N'R',1,4),
(N'R',2,0),(N'R',2,4),
(N'R',3,0),(N'R',3,1),(N'R',3,2),(N'R',3,3),
(N'R',4,0),(N'R',4,2),
(N'R',5,0),(N'R',5,3),
(N'R',6,0),(N'R',6,4);

-- Helper: stamp a line of text as spark dots
DECLARE @i int, @len int, @ch nchar(1);

-- Line 1
SET @i = 1; SET @len = LEN(@Line1);
WHILE @i <= @len
BEGIN
    SET @ch = SUBSTRING(@Line1, @i, 1);

    IF @ch <> N' '
    BEGIN
        INSERT INTO #scene(shape)
        SELECT geometry::Point(
                   CONVERT(float, @X1 + ((@i-1) * @Step) + (c * @Scale)),
                   CONVERT(float, @Y1 + ((6-r) * @Scale)),
                   0
               ).STBuffer(CONVERT(float, @Dot))
        FROM @Font
        WHERE ch = @ch;
    END

    SET @i += 1;
END

-- Line 2
SET @i = 1; SET @len = LEN(@Line2);
WHILE @i <= @len
BEGIN
    SET @ch = SUBSTRING(@Line2, @i, 1);

    IF @ch <> N' '
    BEGIN
        INSERT INTO #scene(shape)
        SELECT geometry::Point(
                   CONVERT(float, @X2 + ((@i-1) * @Step) + (c * @Scale)),
                   CONVERT(float, @Y2 + ((6-r) * @Scale)),
                   0
               ).STBuffer(CONVERT(float, @Dot))
        FROM @Font
        WHERE ch = @ch;
    END

    SET @i += 1;
END

SELECT * FROM #scene;

DROP TABLE IF EXISTS #scene;
DROP TABLE IF EXISTS #centers;

How it works

Step 1: Pick the sky coordinates

We generate @Fireworks random centers in #centers using CHECKSUM(NEWID()). That gives us repeatable “random enough” values per row, which is better than RAND() when you want variety without weird loop behaviour.

Each center has:

  • x and y for position

  • r for burst size

Step 2: Build each burst in layers

For each center:

  • Core: a small circle STBuffer(r * 0.12)

  • Ring: big circle minus slightly smaller circle using STDifference

  • Rays: @Rays line segments shot out using COS and SIN around a full circle

  • Trail: a vertical line down to the ground to fake a launch path

It’s basically procedural art, just written in SQL.

Step 3: Draw “HAPPY NEW YEAR” as spark pixels

This is my favourite part.

We define a 5x7 pixel font in a table variable @Font where each character is a set of (row, col) pixels. Then we loop through each letter and stamp little circles as “spark dots”.

It’s a tiny rendering engine, built from a table and two loops.

Remix it in 30 seconds

If you want readers to actually engage, give them these quick edits:

More chaos

DECLARE @Fireworks int = 12;
DECLARE @Rays      int = 24;

Bigger sparks and thicker rays

-- Rays thickness
.STBuffer(0.06)

-- Spark dot radius
DECLARE @Dot decimal(10,4) = @Scale * 0.45;

Move the text

DECLARE @X1 decimal(10,4) = 0.2,  @Y1 decimal(10,4) = 5.2;
DECLARE @X2 decimal(10,4) = 0.0,  @Y2 decimal(10,4) = 3.8;

One improvement you should make before publishing

Right now you end with SELECT * FROM #scene; which works, but the viewer will show multiple shapes. For a cleaner “single picture” result, output one unioned geometry, like this:

SELECT geometry::UnionAggregate(shape) AS shape
FROM #scene
WHERE shape IS NOT NULL;

That makes the result feel like a finished artwork, not a bag of parts.

Your next-level version

If you want this series to become something people follow, stop hard-coding glyphs inside every post. Make a reusable font table and a stored procedure like:

  • dbo.GlyphPixels(ch, r, c)

  • dbo.StampText(@text, @x, @y, @scale, @dot)

That turns a holiday gag into a tiny SQL art toolkit.

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